Teachers

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The chaotic lives, loves and drinking sessions of a group of hapless teachers. They might be qualified to teach, but they've still got a lot to learn...

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Creators and Cast

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Cast

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Episodes

Specials

4 episodes

S0 E1 · Xmas Special 2004

Xmas Special 2004

S0 E2 · Series 1 - Making of Teachers

Series 1 - Making of Teachers

S0 E3 · Series 2 - Making of Teachers

Series 2 - Making of Teachers

S0 E4 · Series 3 - Extras

Series 3 - Extras

Season 1

8 episodes

English teacher Simon Casey struggles through his first term at Summerdown School wondering if he really wants the job and, more importantly, if he’ll ever get to see Jenny’s bottom. Prospects on either front don’t look good. Still, sage advice from psychology tutor and best friend Susan and not-so-sage advice from fellow teachers Brian and Kurt might help. Or not ….

S1 E1 · Episode One

Simon’s life is a tragedy. He’s attracted to his dad’s fiancée, the stripper he just slept with is actually a real policewoman, and Jenny is livid after he told the students her lessons were boring.

S1 E2 · Episode Two

Susan’s convinced Simon has a thing for women with authority. He’s determined to prove her wrong, even though his new policewoman girlfriend Maggie is coming into the school to talk about drugs.

S1 E3 · Episode Three

Maggie’s upset that Simon was clearly so embarrassed of her when she met his friends, so she stops returning his calls. Brian and Kurt let Simon move into their flat, which is a relief. At first ….

S1 E4 · Episode Four

Simon’s terrified his sex life is deteriorating when he and Maggie go for a few days without any action, and he feels intimidated when he finds out she’s had sex in all sorts of interesting places.

S1 E5 · Episode Five

The students lock Simon and Jenny in the stationery cupboard, where sexual tension gets the better of them. Spurred on by guilt, Simon moves in with Maggie and they throw a housewarming party.

S1 E6 · Episode Six

It’s open evening, and Susan’s husband turns up angrily demanding she accompany him to his work dinner. When she storms off, everyone thinks she’s had some kind of nervous breakdown.

S1 E7 · Episode Seven

Pornography with teachers’ faces superimposed on it has been doing the rounds, including a delightful depiction of Simon and Bob together. And Simon has to handle a female student's chest complaint.

S1 E8 · Episode Eight

Simon has his big interview, and finds out if he can keep his job. Liz can’t wait to tell everyone about Kurt’s secret relationship with Carol. And Jenny and Simon finally admit to their feelings.

Season 2

10 episodes

A new school year means new challenges for the teachers. Simon feels threatened by charming newcomer J.P., and Kurt finds dodging Carol’s affections is turning into a full-time occupation. Meanwhile, Brian is enchanted by English trainee tutor Penny—for two very obvious reasons—and Bob sdecides to get fit. Even if it kills him ….

S2 E1 · Episode One

It’s a new term. Simon mistakes new languages tutor J.P. for a sixth former, and buxom newcomer Penny receives a lot of attention from the men. Recently divorced Susan turns on the charms with J.P.

S2 E2 · Episode Two

Carol continues to pursue Kurt, even though he insists their relationship is over and tries to convince her that Penny is his new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Bob tells Simon he hasn’t had sex for 23 years.

S2 E3 · Episode Three

Jenny’s house-shaking romping with her new boyfriend Alec is driving Susan crazy, so she agrees to get a flat with Simon. And then Brian and Kurt convince Simon that he fancies her.

S2 E4 · Episode Four

When J.P. comes out to the rest of the teachers, Simon, Kurt and Susan begin a campaign of wind-ups against Brian. But with J.P.’s help, Brian finds a way to get his own back.

S2 E5 · Episode Five

Susan drags the others over to the house to prove how annoying Jenny’s boyfriend is. Brian and Kurt are confused when J.P. spends the night with a girl.

S2 E6 · Episode Six

A delusional Bob manages to convince himself that Penny fancies him. This spurs him into undergoing a ridiculous fitness regime, which soon results in total collapse. Is this the end of Bob?

S2 E7 · Episode Seven

When a former student brings her baby into school to illustrate the hardships of motherhood, Susan ends up desperate for a child of her own. She doesn’t need a father, just good genetic material.

S2 E8 · Episode Eight

Jenny decides it’s time to finish with Alec; she just needs to work out how. Meanwhile, Simon shocks everyone by announcing he’s going to quit his job and fly to South America—on Saturday.

S2 E9 · Episode Nine

Having split up with Alec, Jenny’s going through a hedonistic phase—much to Brian and Kurt’s delight as she keeps buying all the drinks.

S2 E10 · Episode Ten

Penny takes a shine to Simon’s replacement Matt because he’s the only person who talks to her. And Kurt wonders if he made a mistake splitting up with Carol.

Season 3

13 episodes

With Simon gone, Brian and Kurt turn to his replacement for advice—the suave and morally-flexible Matt. But married Matt is much more interested in his own affairs, and it falls upon new biology teacher Lindsay to help them out. Lindsay’s funny, frank, down-to-earth and, most importantly, she’s fat—an essential safety feature for an agony aunt that ensures Brian and Kurt won’t end up fancying her. Probably.

S3 E1 · Episode One

A new term and a new teacher, in the (rather large) shape of Lindsay. She can outdrink the boys, and Brian in particular thinks she’s brilliant, until Kurt convinces him that she fancies him.

S3 E2 · Episode Two

Penny’s self-obsession and self-pity have reached such dizzying new heights that she’s driving everyone insane. Bored to tears with her moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.

S3 E3 · Episode Three

Kurt thinks his luck with the ladies is changing. At parents’ evening he meets a woman he reckons he has a good chance of pulling. As usual, however, his judgement in these matters isn’t perfect.

S3 E4 · Episode Four

Bobs wife throws him out of the house and moves her boyfriend in. For the first time, Liz takes pity on this dishevelled wreck. But a combination of pity and alcohol can have surprising results.

S3 E5 · Episode Five

Lindsay is about to turn 30, which is fine, until everyone points out that 30 is very old. What’s the best way to handle being 30? Grow old with grace and start acting your age, or the exact opposite?

S3 E6 · Episode Six

Half the staff are off with stress, leaving the other half even more stressed. In a desperate bid to relieve the pressure, Clare assigns them all a stress partner, which proves very stressful.

S3 E7 · Episode Seven

There’s something disturbing in the air. A stranger, with a sinister beard, is lurking by the perimeter fence. But it turns out that he’s not so strange after all.

S3 E8 · Episode Eight

The English department are left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that, whether he likes it or not, Matt is the ideal choice to act as Bobs replacement.

S3 E9 · Episode Nine

The teachers are depressed that none of them is in a functional relationship, until Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as married. But Brian thinks that Kurt is taking advantage of him.

S3 E10 · Episode Ten

Students and parents have been complaining about Lindsay, and she’s ended up with a formal warning. So she’s going to transform herself into ‘super-teacher’, with help from an unlikely guru: Bob.

S3 E11 · Episode Eleven

Brians obsessed with Eileen—the only good-looking dinner lady in the world—and when Bob starts complaining loudly about the canteen food, Brian has to stand up for his dream woman.

S3 E12 · Episode Twelve

When Brian and Kurt race each other to school, Kurt’s desire to win results in injury. Brian’s attempts to administer first aid only serve to make things worse and Kurt ends up in a wheelchair.

S3 E13 · Episode Thirteen

Love, lust, and general weirdness are in the air. Penny’s started a new romance, Clare’s getting frisky, and in a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves snogging.

Season 4

9 episodes

Following the untimely deaths of Matt, Brian and Kurt, it’s left to Penny and Lindsay to make friends with the staff of Wattkins School. This proves tricky. Charming Head of English Ewan is easy to get along with (unless you happen to be Bob), but sarcastic cookery teacher Damien and neurotic R.E. tutor (and confirmed atheist) Ben take a bit more getting used to.

S4 E1 · Episode One

Summerdown has merged with another school and it’s all change for the teachers. Bob is struggling to adjust: he’s been demoted, and his new boss seems to be a hit with the women.

S4 E2 · Episode Two

Penny makes a pass at Ewan, but it all ends in humiliation. Meanwhile, Ben is ordered to babysit some pensioners who are visiting the school which forces him to confront his own prejudices.

S4 E3 · Episode Three

Ewan is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that a pupil, John, fancies him. All his attempts to handle the situation sensitively backfire horribly.

S4 E4 · Episode Four

It is Obesity Awareness Month and Ben becomes obsessed with Lindsay’s weight. It’s purely selfish, of course; he’s worried her death would be bad for his own stress levels.

S4 E5 · Episode Five

It’s Religious Tolerance Week and the teachers prepare to represent their allocated religions at the Tolerance Fair. Meanwhile, Bob finally takes delivery of his new wife.

S4 E6 · Episode Six

After discovering Penny’s real surname is Eichmann, the others take pleasure in winding her up. She’s blonde, she hates foreign food, she has no black friends—could she be a racist?

S4 E7 · Episode Seven

No sooner has Damien announced that he doesn’t need a girlfriend, than he falls for the substitute teacher Anna. But an unfortunate incident with a pupil and an icing bag has rendered him impotent.

S4 E8 · Episode Eight

While trying to get out of Bob’s stag do, Ben is reminded of a ouija board prediction: he’s going to die on Friday. Then he sees a miracle. So God must exist, and there’s an afterlife to contend with.

S4 E9 · Episode Nine

The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hungover, Bob is getting married in the playground—and the Ofsted Inspector is due. Happy Christmas, everyone!